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facebook status of the day

(420 posts) (99 voices)

Started 3 years ago by goggles
Latest reply from F18

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Posted 3 years ago #

goggles

Loungin Since Aug '09
bucktown --> strong island
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facebook status of the day

every day, any number of my facebook "friends" posts an idiotic, random, useless, retarded etc status, reminding me why we're not real-life friends. i'm sure this happens to all of you too. i'd like to share some of these, and maybe see some of yours. here's one of mine from today...

"WARNING TO MY STATEN ISLAND FAMILY & FRIENDS: GET THIS WORD OUT 4 MEN IN A WHITE VAN WITH TEXAS PLATES ARE GOING AROUND STOPPING WOMEN WITH SOME TYPE OF STORY TO TRY TO GET THEM OUT OF THEIR CAR. ACCORDING TO THE STATEN ISLAND NYPD, THESE MEN ARE HEROIN ADDICTS AND ARE ARMED WITH A SHOT GUN"
Posted 3 years ago #

blutters

Loungin Since Aug '09
Free DasCoisok!
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facebook status of the day

Why do they need a story, couldn't they just use the shotgun to get people out of a car?
Posted 3 years ago #

goggles

Loungin Since Aug '09
bucktown --> strong island
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facebook status of the day

blutters said: Why do they need a story, couldn't they just use the shotgun to get people out of a car?

maybe the heroin has adversely affected their manipulation by shotgun skillz, but has mysteriously improved their verbal powers of persuasion. i don't know abOUT you, but i'll believe anything a junkie from texas tells me.
Posted 3 years ago #

Horse Repairman

Loungin Since Aug '09
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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facebook status of the day

Tom Lorenz: is going to the diner to get a burger and broccoli. Broccoli? Wait, nevermind the broccoli.

I've decided this guy must be one of you faggots. Who here is Tom Lorenz?
Posted 3 years ago #

geoffthemover

Loungin Since Aug '09
Low Gear
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facebook status of the day

okay guys. now we gotta paint the van...
Posted 3 years ago #

goggles

Loungin Since Aug '09
bucktown --> strong island
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facebook status of the day

haha that's his profile pic? and i agree...pretty lame status.
Posted 3 years ago #

Dave99

Loungin Since Aug '09
MODERATOR with an Iron Fist full of Marshmallows
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facebook status of the day

I shaved like that once after an all nighter just to see the look on my bro's face when he saw it...and then we got more buzzed,I forgot I had a half beard and went downtown for breakfast..I wish I had seen the look on my face when, sitting in the diner , I "discovered" what I had done....Too funny
Posted 3 years ago #

Horse Repairman

Loungin Since Aug '09
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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facebook status of the day

haha, that's a good one.
Posted 3 years ago #

Horse Repairman

Loungin Since Aug '09
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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facebook status of the day

Edited because it looked messy
Posted 3 years ago #

Junkshow

Loungin Since Aug '09
The North
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facebook status of the day

Haha, one person came right to mind.
Posted 3 years ago #

pastaboy

Loungin Since Aug '09
perth
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facebook status of the day

hahaha. hilarious!
Posted 3 years ago #

JP

Loungin Since Aug '09
eh BC
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facebook status of the day

Jonathan XXXX: My butt is very itchy all of a sudden

Thanks for sharing John
Posted 3 years ago #

drjcv

Loungin Since Aug '09
understand my appeal
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facebook status of the day

dave99 said: I shaved like that once after an all nighter just to see the look on my bro's face when he saw it...and then we got more buzzed,I forgot I had a half beard and went downtown for breakfast..I wish I had seen the look on my face when, sitting in the diner , I "discovered" what I had done....Too funny

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Posted 3 years ago #

tcooley

Loungin Since Aug '09
Nova Scotia
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facebook status of the day

horse-repairman said: So, this is semi-relevant, I guess. It's a stupid website post.
In Halo, there's this dude, Sgt. Johnson, and you can use him in one of the games. Someone just put this on the Halo website.

Posted by: Horse Repairman
[quote]Posted by: a pterodactyI
So I was playing with my Johnson and now he won't work anymore. I tried to jerk him to the left and to the right, or spin him around, but he just stands there looking at me all sad with his little hat on. I tried to restart my system but nothing happened. can someone help me? aaahhhh!!

You've got to be kidding me[/quote]

I'm pretty sure 'a pterodactyI' was being funny and you just didn't clue in. There's no way that isn't a joke.
Posted 3 years ago #

RIPITUP

Loungin Since Aug '09
Until tomorrow, the whole world is my home
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facebook status of the day

DOC do you know those guys? That was in a sunshine gondola I think...
Posted 3 years ago #

death_ember

Loungin Since Aug '09
Don't google "Blue Waffle". DON'T.
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facebook status of the day

"I am halfway to school right now, but I realized it's Saturday."

Posted by my retarded stoner friend, who rarely goes to school in the first place.
Posted 3 years ago #

Eva

Loungin Since Aug '09
São Paulo, Brazil
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facebook status of the day

death_ember said: "I am halfway to school right now, but I realized it's Saturday."
Posted by my retarded stoner friend, who rarely goes to school in the first place.

10/10
Posted 3 years ago #

Dr. Dre

Loungin Since Aug '09
"I still ski from time to time, i enjoy it"-90
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facebook status of the day

ripitup said: DOC do you know those guys?

FAIL.
Posted 3 years ago #

Horse Repairman

Loungin Since Aug '09
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
offline

facebook status of the day

tcooley said:

horse-repairman said: So, this is semi-relevant, I guess. It's a stupid website post.
In Halo, there's this dude, Sgt. Johnson, and you can use him in one of the games. Someone just put this on the Halo website.

Posted by: Horse Repairman
[quote]Posted by: a pterodactyI
So I was playing with my Johnson and now he won't work anymore. I tried to jerk him to the left and to the right, or spin him around, but he just stands there looking at me all sad with his little hat on. I tried to restart my system but nothing happened. can someone help me? aaahhhh!!

You've got to be kidding me[/quote]

I'm pretty sure 'a pterodactyI' was being funny and you just didn't clue in. There's no way that isn't a joke.

That's what I thought at first, but the conversation continued, and it became clear he was ferreal.
Posted 3 years ago #

Ninety-Roll

Loungin Since Aug '09
comedy. tits. spliffs. shred.
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facebook status of the day

"Cezar Ostrowski has decided that if her were to die, he'd like The Roots to play at his funeral. them, or Joan Jett..."Do You Wanna Touch Me?" on repeat all dayumn day long!!!"
Posted 3 years ago #

goggles

Loungin Since Aug '09
bucktown --> strong island
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facebook status of the day

ninety-roll said: "Cezar Ostrowski has decided that if her were to die, he'd like The Roots to play at his funeral. them, or Joan Jett..."Do You Wanna Touch Me?" on repeat all dayumn day long!!!"

i remember that video. iused to throw up in my mOUTh a little every time she flashed that tiny bikini.
Posted 3 years ago #

Ninety-Roll

Loungin Since Aug '09
comedy. tits. spliffs. shred.
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facebook status of the day

goggles said:

ninety-roll said: "Cezar Ostrowski has decided that if her were to die, he'd like The Roots to play at his funeral. them, or Joan Jett..."Do You Wanna Touch Me?" on repeat all dayumn day long!!!"

i remember that video. iused to throw up in my mOUTh a little every time she flashed that tiny bikini.

she was manly, huh? looked like she could knock back shots of whiskey and then kick your ass.
Posted 3 years ago #

Horse Repairman

Loungin Since Aug '09
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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facebook status of the day

One of my friend's teenage little sister just added me, so I'm expecting to be able to post some great ones soon.
Posted 3 years ago #

goggles

Loungin Since Aug '09
bucktown --> strong island
offline

facebook status of the day

horse-repairman said: One of my friend's teenage little sister just added me, so I'm expecting to be able to post some great ones soon.

nudez too?
Posted 3 years ago #

Horse Repairman

Loungin Since Aug '09
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
offline

facebook status of the day

EDIT wut
Posted 3 years ago #

Horse Repairman

Loungin Since Aug '09
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
offline

facebook status of the day
Posted 3 years ago #

Horse Repairman

Loungin Since Aug '09
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
offline

facebook status of the day
Posted 3 years ago #

Horse Repairman

Loungin Since Aug '09
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
offline

facebook status of the day
Posted 3 years ago #

Horse Repairman

Loungin Since Aug '09
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
offline

facebook status of the day
Posted 3 years ago #

mashy-naps

Loungin Since Oct '09
lumpy like potatoes
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facebook status of the day

BAHAHAHAHA
that is probably some of the funniest stuff i have seen all day!!!!

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