facebook status of the day

(420 posts) (99 voices)
take me to the bottom
  1. goggles

    goggles


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    bucktown --> strong island

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    every day, any number of my facebook "friends" posts an idiotic, random, useless, retarded etc status, reminding me why we're not real-life friends. i'm sure this happens to all of you too. i'd like to share some of these, and maybe see some of yours. here's one of mine from today...  

    "WARNING TO MY STATEN ISLAND FAMILY & FRIENDS: GET THIS WORD OUT 4 MEN IN A WHITE VAN WITH TEXAS PLATES ARE GOING AROUND STOPPING WOMEN WITH SOME TYPE OF STORY TO TRY TO GET THEM OUT OF THEIR CAR. ACCORDING TO THE STATEN ISLAND NYPD, THESE MEN ARE HEROIN ADDICTS AND ARE ARMED WITH A SHOT GUN"

  2. blutters

    blutters


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    Free DasCoisok!

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

     Why do they need a story, couldn't they just use the shotgun to get people out of a car?

  3. goggles

    goggles


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    bucktown --> strong island

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    blutters said:  Why do they need a story, couldn't they just use the shotgun to get people out of a car?

    maybe the heroin has adversely affected their manipulation by shotgun skillz, but has mysteriously improved their verbal powers of persuasion. i don't know abOUT you, but i'll believe anything a junkie from texas tells me.  

  4. Horse Repairman

    Horse Repairman


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    Tom Lorenz: is going to the diner to get a burger and broccoli. Broccoli? Wait, nevermind the broccoli.

    I've decided this guy must be one of you faggots. Who here is Tom Lorenz?

  5. geoffthemover

    geoffthemover


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    Rob Ford's Dealer

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

     okay guys. now we gotta paint the van...

  6. goggles

    goggles


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    bucktown --> strong island

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

     haha that's his profile pic? and i agree...pretty lame status.

  7. Dave99

    Dave99


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    MODERATOR with an Iron Fist full of Marshmallows

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

     I shaved like that once after an all nighter just to see the look on my bro's face when he saw it...and then we got more buzzed,I forgot I had a half beard and went downtown for breakfast..I wish I had seen the look on my face when, sitting in the diner , I "discovered" what I had done....Too funny

  8. Horse Repairman

    Horse Repairman


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    haha, that's a good one.

  9. Horse Repairman

    Horse Repairman


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    Edited because it looked messy

  10. Junkshow

    Junkshow


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    The North

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    Haha, one person came right to mind.  

  11. pastaboy

    pastaboy


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    perth

    online


    facebook status of the day   

    hahaha. hilarious!  

  12. JP

    JP


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    eh BC

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

      Jonathan XXXX: My butt is very itchy all of a sudden

    Thanks for sharing John

  13. drjcv

    drjcv


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    FUCK CANCER

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    dave99 said:  I shaved like that once after an all nighter just to see the look on my bro's face when he saw it...and then we got more buzzed,I forgot I had a half beard and went downtown for breakfast..I wish I had seen the look on my face when, sitting in the diner , I "discovered" what I had done....Too funny

     

    [+] Embed the video | Video DownloadGet the Flash Video


     

  14. tcooley

    tcooley


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    Nova Scotia

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    horse-repairman said: So, this is semi-relevant, I guess. It's a stupid website post.
    In Halo, there's this dude, Sgt. Johnson, and you can use him in one of the games. Someone just put this on the Halo website.

    Posted by: Horse Repairman
    [quote]Posted by: a pterodactyI
    So I was playing with my Johnson and now he won't work anymore. I tried to jerk him to the left and to the right, or spin him around, but he just stands there looking at me all sad with his little hat on. I tried to restart my system but nothing happened. can someone help me? aaahhhh!!

    You've got to be kidding me[/quote]
     

    I'm pretty sure 'a pterodactyI' was being funny and you just didn't clue in. There's no way that isn't a joke.

  15. RIPITUP

    RIPITUP


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    Until tomorrow, the whole world is my home

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

     DOC do you know those guys? That was in a sunshine gondola I think...

  16. death_ember

    death_ember


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    Don't google "Blue Waffle". DON'T.

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    "I am halfway to school right now, but I realized it's Saturday."

    Posted by my retarded stoner friend, who rarely goes to school in the first place.

  17. Eva

    Eva


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    World nomad

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    death_ember said: "I am halfway to school right now, but I realized it's Saturday."
    Posted by my retarded stoner friend, who rarely goes to school in the first place.

     
    10/10

  18. Dr. Dre

    Dr. Dre


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    Tahoe

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    ripitup said:  DOC do you know those guys?

     FAIL.

  19. Horse Repairman

    Horse Repairman


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    tcooley said:

    horse-repairman said: So, this is semi-relevant, I guess. It's a stupid website post.
    In Halo, there's this dude, Sgt. Johnson, and you can use him in one of the games. Someone just put this on the Halo website.
    Posted by: Horse Repairman
    [quote]Posted by: a pterodactyI
    So I was playing with my Johnson and now he won't work anymore. I tried to jerk him to the left and to the right, or spin him around, but he just stands there looking at me all sad with his little hat on. I tried to restart my system but nothing happened. can someone help me? aaahhhh!!

    You've got to be kidding me[/quote]

     
    I'm pretty sure 'a pterodactyI' was being funny and you just didn't clue in. There's no way that isn't a joke.

    That's what I thought at first, but the conversation continued, and it became clear he was ferreal.

  20. Ninety-Roll

    Ninety-Roll


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    comedy. spliffs. shred.

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    "Cezar Ostrowski has decided that if her were to die, he'd like The Roots to play at his funeral. them, or Joan Jett..."Do You Wanna Touch Me?" on repeat all dayumn day long!!!"

  21. goggles

    goggles


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    bucktown --> strong island

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    ninety-roll said: "Cezar Ostrowski has decided that if her were to die, he'd like The Roots to play at his funeral. them, or Joan Jett..."Do You Wanna Touch Me?" on repeat all dayumn day long!!!"

    i remember that video. iused to throw up in my mOUTh a little every time she flashed that tiny bikini.  

  22. Ninety-Roll

    Ninety-Roll


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    comedy. spliffs. shred.

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    goggles said:

    ninety-roll said: "Cezar Ostrowski has decided that if her were to die, he'd like The Roots to play at his funeral. them, or Joan Jett..."Do You Wanna Touch Me?" on repeat all dayumn day long!!!"

    i remember that video. iused to throw up in my mOUTh a little every time she flashed that tiny bikini.  

     

    she was manly, huh? looked like she could knock back shots of whiskey and then kick your ass.

  23. Horse Repairman

    Horse Repairman


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    One of my friend's teenage little sister just added me, so I'm expecting to be able to post some great ones soon.    

  24. goggles

    goggles


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    bucktown --> strong island

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    horse-repairman said: One of my friend's teenage little sister just added me, so I'm expecting to be able to post some great ones soon.    

     
    nudez too?

  25. Horse Repairman

    Horse Repairman


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

    EDIT wut

  26. Horse Repairman

    Horse Repairman


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

  27. Horse Repairman

    Horse Repairman


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

  28. Horse Repairman

    Horse Repairman


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

  29. Horse Repairman

    Horse Repairman


    Loungin Since Aug '09
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

  30. mashy-naps

    mashy-naps


    Loungin Since Oct '09
    lumpy like potatoes

    offline


    facebook status of the day   

     BAHAHAHAHA
    that is probably some of the funniest stuff i have seen all day!!!!

  31. 2011 Burton Restricted
Save More $$$ - Today's DamOutlet Deal

back to top of the page

Reply »

You must log in to post.

Topic - click here for more Latest Topics Posts Author Last Poster Freshness
THE ANAEROBIC AND ANABOLIC THREAD - 23227228229 6866 JungleLarry pastaboy 10 minutes
letter from china ( part 2 ) - 2 46 tianjin pastaboy 12 minutes
The Official Random Thoughts Thread - 23861862863 25863 TahoeChappy pastaboy 15 minutes
terror comes to canada 1 pastaboy pastaboy 17 minutes
Outerwear: Burton AK & 686 3 JLD JLD 1 hour
Official Airblaster thread - 23176177178 5338 shralp EMHM00 3 hours
Random shred news and etc... - 23636465 1938 Junkshow MEMPHIS 3 hours
Powzer Board Quiver - 23545556 1677 shralp spoonfish 3 hours
[sticky] [sticky] pizza, wtf do you like on it? - 23161718 512 contra bigwillystyle 4 hours
The Denver thread - 23262728 831 Deucen zkurd 4 hours