So it snowed today here in Tahoe finally. This afternoon about 1pm a pretty windy, fast-moving storm hit us hard for 4 or 5 hours and blanketed town with 6” at least so far…..and I’ve heard an early report of 15 – 18” so far up above 7,500ft. It’s winding down now with just some flurries, but it’s a nice natural blanket to go on the manmade strips that had been blown at Boreal and recently Squaw Valley and Northstar. I couldn’t be more stoked.
Well yeah I could be since I also picked up my little project snowmachine from the boys at Thin Air Motorsports here in Truckee. She had needed a little valve job and some other doo-dads to get ready for the season, and boy does she sound great. I might make some snowboard laps with the kids at Northstar or Boreal, then afterwards go put up on the “fiberboard freeway” behind Northstar to brake in the new valves. All in all, today was a good day.
Which gets me to want to pass on the stoke for sure, so I thought even though these are some of Buton’s infamous “seconds”, who wouldn’t be stoked on a 2010 Burton R. Crumb Private Stock snowboard based on a channel version of the “Hate” V-Rocker with the infamous X-rated, 1972 animated movie star “Fritz the Cat”?? It’s a rare enough board, and the topsheet drawing of Fritz trying to get past first base is from a 2001 limited edition, 15” x 19” numbered drawing of only 300 that is going for $80 on R Crumb’s own website. I’ve checked all three boards thoroughly for what exactly caused them to be either blemished seconds in pure cosmetics versus any base p-tex gap fillers versus edge / sidewall fillers versus gouges anywhere on the board. Details to come as to what makes each of them a “second” for the three boards. I included a few pics of each one as well. The winner, of course, get as many detailed pics to compare amongst the three as they need. All three have a different base color combination.
Now as to how you win.
First and foremost is to have upgraded to being a “Premium” Lounger. If that’s Greek to you, then unfortunately you won’t be able to win this sucker unless you do the $20 upgrade. It’s fast and easy and we finally even worked out the paypal kinks.
So please keep your submissions from crossing over into cheesy and blatantly fabricated bullshit – as well as outright porn – and then the person who wins this Burton Private Stock R. Crumb “Fritz the Cat” snowboard will be the one who best tells their most embarrassing yet hilariously awkward sexual moment. I didn’t want to go for bizzaro / fetish land ( Edit per Suchick….the “bizzaro / fetish” closed sign as been turned to read “open” now ) as maybe the R. Crumb faithful would’ve liked, so I figured this would be a close second as we all could get good some good laughs. For the uninitiated, read some more about the life of Robert Crumb and what led him into his LSD inspired life of animation that has often over the decades dived into sometimes graphic and sexually dark spots.
Now to set the bar, one of the more awkward hook-up moments ever for me was when I went to an awesome house party in college to hang out with a chick there. Nothing had happened with her prior to then although there had definitely been some good flirting. Well tonight was the night I could tell. By about midnight we booth were sooooo hammered that we just stumbled into her room and didn’t even really get too many clothes off each other before just going at it fast and furious. It was actually a pretty quick session but mutually beneficial to both surprisingly. The post cuddle was short and sweet as she started lightly snoring a few minutes into it.
Unfortunately for me, though, those last 3 shots of tequila in a row with my buddy Scott were hitting me pretty damn hard right about then. In fact, that whole “spinning room” thing started firing up on me and even though I was doing big, long inhales and exhales, it didn’t take long for that lump to appear.
You know that lump. It starts moving back up your throat pretty quickly when your stomach says that it’s got too much fucking alcohol in it and your liver is backing up and your body is saying “REJECT! REJECT!” I jumped up and ran towards the bathroom. I flung open the door and tripped over something that sent me falling headfirst with my arms reaching out….luckily to wrap almost perfectly around the toilet just in time for that disgusting upheaval of puke to come gushing out.
I thought that I was loud enough to wake up the neighbors, but it didn’t phase her at all as she didn’t even make a sound. I stood up and fumbled around for the sink but couldn’t find the faucet handles for some reason…..and boy was I still drunk and spinning. At least now I knew that I could just pass out quickly.
So about 7am or so I woke up to her standing over the bed poking me in the back asking if I wanted a glass of water or Tylenol or anything else. She told me she had just gotten up and gone pee and got some water and Tylenol for her own pounding headache. She also wanted to know if I was the one who had “spilled” beer all over her clothes hamper in her closet?
So top that one, and you get the 2010 Burton Private Stock R. Crumb “Fritz the Cat” snowboard based off of the Burton “Hate” V Rocker. It only comes in the 154 too I forgot to mention.
Oh, and since this is an extra special giveaway with hopefully some extra special stories, I’m going to keep this one running all the way into Thanksgiving Day. The winning story that best tops mine will be decided just after the second of three NFL football games is played that afternoon / evening – the Oakland Raaaaaaaaaiders versus the Dallas Cowboys.
So if you personally have a story and/or know of a story as good as or better than mine, well then sharpen up your witty writing skills and get do it. There’s no limit on the number of words…..and unlike my story with no supporting pics, the winning entry just might include a couple if it was something caught on film.
Winner announced on Thursday, November 26th around 5pm Pacific / 8pm Eastern or whenever the Raiders finish pulling off the shocking upset of the Cowboys….or so Ninety Roll would wish!
Green Base Version – There are zero base, edge, sidewall, topsheet, graphics, or color issues with this board. Instead, it appears that the edge of another board fell against the right edge of this board along the right corner of the topsheet taking a couple mm gouge out of the topsheet that’s less than a centimeter long. The gouge is luckily in the right arm of the couch in the center graphic and not as noticeable as it would be if it were in the solid colors of the topsheet. A good shop tech could not only seal it up, but they could make the gouge even less apparent. Except for the little blemish, this thing is perfect.
Blue Base Version – It has a great base and the edge is perfect, but the first slight imperfection is that the sidewall looks like it had a little scuff in the upper left about 10 centimeters below the contact point. This really is extremely nitpicky here on my part and might not even be part of what made it a second. I believe that it’s mainly the topsheet on this one as there are two very faint dimples on the right about 1/3 of the way down the board from the top, a small “speck” in the gloss coat in the left arm of the couch, and a couple faint scratches in the lower left about 10 centimeters above the contact point there as well as in the middle closer to the tail. Again I’m being picky…..
Black Base Version – Again this board is great except for a few topsheet issues. On the upper left nose about 10 centimeters above the contact point there are two small scuffs less than a centimeter in length that have dulled the gloss shine. There’s also a nick in the topsheet about 2/3 of the way down the board that’s about 3 millimeters long and looks like the classic edge of another board nicking it. There are also some really small water spot looking thing near the tail that honestly look like they might rub out. Lastly there are 2 noticeable albeit faint “scuff lines” running parallel for about 3 centimeters from the lower left contact point toward the tail.